Now that you’ve heard the story, see the pics!

Here’s the blurry image of the man in the hat. Now to the untrained eye, it looks like a blurry mess. (Actually, it looks like a dog climbed up on the man’s shoulders and is mid-headhump.)

Now allow me to break it down for you…

Exhibit B!

A represents where the hat starts. 

B represents where the hat ends.

C represents where the man’s shoulders are.

Now you think to yourself, “So what? That doesn’t look like that big of a hat.”

The distance from the top of the hat to where it ends in the middle of his back is almost HALF the man’s size. Were you to take 2 of the same hat, and stood them end on end, it would BE TALLER THAN THE MAN HIMSELF.

That was over a year ago…coming up on two years actually…and this man in suit and wolf hat…I’ve never seen since.  I’ve been left here alone with a blurry picture.

I can only assume he’s effed off back to the Great White North to continue his YUKON LAWYER adventures…

Today I was made aware of Netflix‘s larger selection. I still don’t know the reason for it, but I’m sure if you take a few minutes you can figure it out. It’s 2010. This is the age of digital information. Anyway, I went through and added a hellton of movies to the instant queue, and 3 hours later, I watched one.

I’ve got the intention to start going through my instant queue and do some reviews of the movies I’ve watched so you know what is what and can streamline your Netflix experience.

Today I watched Chocolate. A movie by Prachya Pinkaew. YA KNOW! Prachya Pinkaew! The Thai director of Ong-Bak and the Protector!  Ok, so you’ve probably not heard of him unless you’re up to date on your Thai martial arts movies.

Alright, let’s get to it.

See? Ong-Bak, Protector. How do you not know this?

Directly from the mouths of Netflix:

Zen (Jeeja Yanin), a young autistic woman who discovers that she has the uncanny ability to absorb precision fighting skills just by watching martial arts movies. When her cancer-ridden mother’s creditors come calling, Zen attempts to settle the debts by standing up to a hardnosed gang of criminals who have wrongfully swindled money from her family.

What this has to do with chocolate, I have no idea. Must be a cultural thing. Once again, you want to investigate, you’re more than welcome.  Seriously. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

You back? Too bad, I’m moving on.

My best attempt at defining this movie while I watched it was as such: Romeo and Juliet meets Daredevil meets Rain Man meets Dirty Work meets the Protector (Honestly, get on the Protector train…) with the BEST POSSIBLE RESULTS.

Alright, maybe not the BEST results. The first 20 minutes of the movie fast forward through the prologue via montage after montage when we learn that her parents (Zin her mother and Sasashi her father) –star-crossed lovers, whereby the stars are actually Thai and Japanese gangs– are brought together and driven apart by Zin’s former boss. Also in this montage, we watch Zin’s health deteriorate and Zen grow, while discovering her autism, and also her almost Daredevil-esque hyper senses.

When we reach “present day”, Zen is accompanied by Mang moom, her chubby friend and manager, as he uses Zen and her ability to catch high speed objects as a source of income. Our first touch of the ultra sensitivity of Thai filmmaking toward the mentally handicapped.

Soon we realize that Zen isn’t “Full retard” (To quote Tropic Thunder‘s Kirk Lazarus) as she’s able to beat on any and all who stand in the way of her collecting the money owed her mother (which she and Moom are using to help pay for Zin’s cancer treatment).

When Zin’s old boss catches wind of Zen and Moom’s exploits, that’s when trouble arises…

I’ll let her feet do the talking. (Mind the re-edited music.)

You see that? Now you understand why the story isn’t that important. It’s an action movie where an autistic girls kicks hell out of a lot of grown men, story is essentially irrelevant. Which is good, because outside of Zen, we don’t really get a good, in-depth exposition of who anyone else is. There are actually a whole group of “assassins” that I’m pretty certain were a group because they were all transvestites…I don’t know for sure.

The blood isn’t a huge factor in this. There’s some, but it’s not a gore fest like a lot of the other shock flicks that come out of the area.

There is a moment toward the end, (in the above video, it starts at the 2:45 mark) where she squares off against big boss’ epileptic kid. Yeah, thats right:  Epilepsy vs. Autism.

I mean, come ON!

Let me be forthcoming with this: I’m in love with Jeeja Yanin now.  This is with my full understanding that she could cripple me or worse if I make any erratic movements whilst bringing her a sandwich.

All the same, my final thoughts on the piece? You want some fun, check it out. There’s plenty of humor, a lot of great set-ups to the fights, and most importantly, their doing all their own stunts. Don’t believe me? Stick around after the movie as they do a rundown of a bunch of different accidents that happen during fight scenes. One guy’s head is even split open at one point!

In due time, hopefully end of this month, I’m going to be attempting to self-publish my book FREAK.   The contest I am running, as the title so cleverly suggests, is to get YOUR design put on MY book.

Here was my attempt:

 

So now you know why I need your help.

The winner of the contest will have their design made into my book cover, with full acknowledgement in book for a job well done, and a free copy of FREAK.

Entries are being accepted between Sept. 1st and Sept. 30th at 11:59 pm. They will then be judged by a panel as yet determined for final approval. Obviously only one entry will win, and the winner will be announced no later than Oct. 2nd.

We’re looking for anything and everything. Whatever your take on the story, we want to see it.

If you are interested in entering, PLEASE SEND ME AN EMAIL TO JUSTICEFORAVERYCREEK@gmail.com TO CONFIRM YOUR PARTICIPATION AND RECEIVE A FULL SYNOPSIS OF THE STORY.  

Thanks in advance, and GOOD LUCK!

In fact, with the exception of Bamkapow, I haven’t seen thing one on this. Now I myself am about two weeks late on posting this, but that doesn’t seem to matter in the grand scheme, because you’ve probably not heard about this.

The film was made for only $800 and shot with a Red One 4k camera, and looks amazing. The set works great for a random Gotham City warehouse, and everything about the Joker from costume to voice is spot on.

The film opens with a man, bloody and beaten, tied to a chair, terrified for his life. We come to find he’s an undercover cop that has worked his way onto the Joker’s team and has been found out. The rest of the story plays out in a cruel game of Russian Roullette.
The music catches the tension of the scene, but has a tendency to overpower the dialogue at moments. The dialogue does veer a little into the Fanfilm realm –pulling a few details and moments directly from the movie, one instance being the Joker’s penchant for chaos– but doesn’t stay there long. It’s a decent screenplay that has its own merits and stands alone as a creative work. The film makes me think of what might have happened to Brian, the fake Batman from the Dark Knight, after the Joker turned off the camera.

All of that is overshadowed, overpowered even, by Paul Louis Harrell’s take on Heath Ledger’s Clown Prince of Crime. Harrell has spent time, according to the production notes, playing the Joker on Hollywood Blvd for tips, and you can really tell it. Bamkapow’s caption for their link says, “Has Heath Ledger risen from the grave!?” and you really have to wonder at times, his performance is that close.

That fact both works for, and against him. For because…did you SEE IT?! HOLY CRAP! Against, because I felt we missed what could have been a unique go at the Joker with Harrell bringing himself to the role. That’s what made Heath Ledger’s Joker arguably the best, he took it and made the character his own. For as well as Harrell mimics Heath’s version, I’m convinced there’s a better take inside of him.  That he went the direction to simply mimic might be from the writer’s (Morgan Rodner) vision. 

Don’t misunderstand me: It was a brilliant impersonation, and terrifying in its own right. I’m not slighting his performance at all, I’m simply remiss of what might have been, were he to bring his individuality to the role. I’m genuinely looking forward to any others he does in the future.

There are other fan films out there. the ones that stand out most to me are City of Scars (Bat in the Sun Productions) and Batman: Dead End (A short by Sandy Collora and starring Growing Pains Andrew Koenig as the Joker) These are the more classic takes on Mr. J, both well done, but the new Joker –long, stringy hair, scarred mouth, and face paint– is becoming my favorite version.  

Well shot, scripted, and acted, Tell Gordon Hello is one of the better fan made Joker movies out there.

Give it a look. It’s ten minutes of your life well spent.

Description from the site:

“Garfield Minus Garfield is a site dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb. “

One such brilliant strip:

Check it out.

One of them suggested a fall theme.  One of the others suggested we include pirates for the obvious reason of Sept. 19th: Talk like a pirate day.

So then it became who could design the theme.  I set out IMMEDIATELY because I had an idea, scouring google for stuff to use. Well then the rules were changed that you had to draw it in paint, not copy/paste.

I knew I didn’t have a chance so I went and did my own using stuff from the internet. I might still attempt to draw it from here without the background, but I enjoyed mine enough to want to keep it. So you get to see it.

Once the others get done, I’ll get them and post them.

Yeah, it’s a slow day.

We have the HTC DESIRE by the way. I only say this because there are 5 of us working, and in the two hours I’ve been here, there have been 3 customers.  So come gets yours?

The pilot episode introduces us to this modern day family that are having troubles coming together. Their lives are slowly growing apart, much to the chagrin of head of the family, Jim Powell (played convincingly by Michael Chiklis).  The kids, Daphne and JJ, are having your average high school kid problems, and the Mom Stephanie (played by Dexter’s Juli Benz) is the main bread-winner, working for some research facility, and missing out on everything at home.

Trying to get his family back together, Jim suggests that, while Stephanie is working in Brazil, the rest of them would tag along and have a proper family vacation. As you will note in the trailer, it properly goes wrong. (Or right, depending on your personal ethos regarding superhuman abilities)

Now the fantastic family of four (couldn’t help myself) has to come to grips with their new abilities, and work together as a family at being a family.

My takeaway from this initial episode: I’m in. A lot of the big moments from this pilot are in the above trailer, but that didn’t stop it from being entertaining. (I still laughed again at the bit about having a lair.) The overlying plot of family togetherness and redefining your place in life now that you have superpowers is your standard fare for the subject. But it’s fresh enough that I didn’t mind. You have that across the board when establishing history.

One thing I did like was that this pilot wasted no time getting into it. Sure there will no doubt be a few Heroes episodes in there, where characters spend 40 minutes struggling with identity –the lion’s share I assume will come from the angsty tweens– but right away, Jim hits the ground running with his new abilities.

One thing I did consciously note, is that, in direct opposition of Heroes, everything but the last five minutes was worth watching. Especially Jim’s first real case, where it’s learned there seems to be something far more going on. (“Some Next Level S***” as I’ve taken to enjoying saying)

The close of the episode, and moreover the theme of being a loving, supportive family, can give you a bit of a diabetic dizzy spell at times, but the intentions are in the right place, and after all it’s called No Ordinary Family. Sweet tooth aside, there’s no way I’m not going for this show.

I’ve never watched the Shield, (which I hear is to my loss) and I was too young to care about the Commish (I’m feeling I won on that one) but I’m a Michael Chiklis fan (my FF ire falls squarely on Alba)  and I’m digging him in this role. He’s a solid fit. Julie Benz, who I don’t have any experience with, does a great job with what she’s given.

Jim’s best friend George, played  by Romany Malco –Jay from the 40 year old virgin– provides the majority of the humor in this episode, playing off of Chiklis’ possible insanity. The two men work brilliantly together, and the relationship between these friends can only go up from here. I can’t wait to see where the show takes it, as Jim’s enthusiasm for his new power is rivaled only by George’s.

The effects, as well as the action sequences themselves, are well done, and in my opinion,  above par with a standard basic cable show. Where some effects serve as a distraction elsewhere, they compliment the scenes here.

Now granted, this is the pilot, and we…or maybe just I…have been duped before, (I’m looking at you, Tim Kring!!) but with what I’ve seen, this show looks like the genuine article. Perhaps it will succeed where others have so blatantly and spitefully failed. (KRING!!!)

 I have to recommend this. The episode gave me no choice to do otherwise. It’s premiering Tuesday, Sept. 28th 8/7C on where? That’s right, ABC.

Now a small morsel, for you that stuck around to read this sentence. If you know me, I’m rarely the first or first 50,000th person to hear of something, so the fact that I was able to catch this pilot episode is either some sort of miracle, or a really well kept secret. ABC is offering the screening to the first 50,000 folks that go to http://abc.go.com/watch/noordinaryscreening and enter the promotional code Extraordinary. Get on it while you can. 

They want you to sign up for ABC.com, but that’s why you have all those ghost emails set up, right?

Last night I took a few minutes…40 minutes… to come up with the idea for the book cover for my book Freak.

So I decided to share it with you here. This is a rough one as you can tell from the cut out of the girl (which will eventually be a guy) and her messed up chin.

Give it a look. Tell me what you think.

Sarge and the rest will be back at it next week!